Go Getter
Fuck that guy. That’s all I’ve got to say about that. Fuck him and his fat fuck of a whore bag wife. He hates you. Whatever bitch. Keep telling yourself that and maybe someday it’ll come true. Yeah right.
Fuck him. I don’t need this shit. I so don’t need it.
His stupid ass doesn’t realize he’s giving up the best thing that ever happened to him. I’m his goddamn meal ticket for Christ’s sake. But you know what? If he wants to stay with that plain Jane cow, more power to him.
I don’t need him.
I’ve got Will.
Well, I will have Will. Will have will. That sounds funny doesn’t it? Anyway, he doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to make his worthless life worth living again. That is if he’s still alive 
J/K. I know he is. He’s still on Facebook. Some chick is in his profile picture. What’s up with that? Probably his counselor or something. Ha ha.
I should really call him.
* * *
So you’d think the asshole would answer his phone. I’ve left, I dunno, twenty messages or something and he won’t call back. Hello, you’re so being a major dick right now. I bet he thinks he’s pretty cool screening his calls, like this is some game or something. As if it takes Machiea-whoever to see this is a fucking power play. Lame.
This one time back in 8th grade, before the whole bi thing was totally cool, me and my best friend Tammy got into this huge fight because she started hanging out with this bitch she knew I hated. She did it on purpose just to piss me off. Seriously, why else would she have hung out with a complete dork like Heidi Schmidt? Anyway, she thought she was all smart thinking she could make me all jealous and shit, so I spread a rumor that I busted the two of them making out. At first people didn’t believe me. They were like, “nuh uh, no way Tammy is a lesbo.” But then I said that one time when she was staying over we got wasted, and in the middle of the night I woke up because she was trying to put her hands down my pants. After that got out, no one would give her the time of day except for the pervs just looking for an easy lay. Seriously, she would fuck any dude smart enough to tell her she was pretty or nice or worth a damn. It was pathetic.
The week before graduation she killed herself while her parents were at church.
The remaining friends she had blamed me for it, saying if I wouldn’t of spread that bullshit rumor she never would have been like this.
I said that if it wasn’t for my “bullshit” rumor they would’ve never been friends with Tammy.
So anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, Will’s a cunt (love that word). But he’ll take me back because he’ll think I want him back.
And I do. Kind of. Well maybe not that bad, but being with him is better than being single. Besides, when you date a guy like Will it’s almost like being single cause you can totally do whatever you want whenever you want. Really, he’s basically a dildo that talks. Though sometimes I wish he couldn’t 
But I can deal.
* * *
I’m at the mall. Again. Banana is having a sale. Bitches like Denise maybe okay with wearing last year’s fashions, but I’ve actually got some taste and self-respect, so I need new clothes.
My friend Thomas is helping me out. He works there and if he wasn’t totally gay I’d consider dating him. As it is, at the moment we’re in the dressing room, he’s giving me his opinion. I’m horny so I’m trying to get him to give me something else.
“Put that thing away, Liz,” he whispered, crinkling his nose as he looked at my crotch. “It grosses me out.”
“Are you kidding,” I replied. “I’ve got the most beautiful vag you’ve ever seen.”
He shook his head and covered his mouth. “Ugh. You look like a twelve year old.”
“Like you don’t wax.”
“Not there,” he said.
“Yeah well, I wax there too.” I turned around and slowly bent over. “Close your eyes and use your imagination. You won’t even be able to tell the difference.”
He just giggled. “You’re such a slut.”
I gave myself a spank on the ass and stood up. “Damn right.”
He shoved a black leather skirt at me and rolled his eyes. “You so need some help.”
My phone started ringing.
“Shut up and hand me my purse.”
Thomas handed it to me and playfully flipped me off as he left the dressing room. I blew him a kiss.
“Hello?”
“Liz?”
“Hey there stranger! I was wondering when you’d return my calls. What’s up?”
Was he crying?
“She died.”
“What? Who died?”
“Mom.”
“No. Are you kidding? Tell me you’re kidding.”
Silence.
“Will? Are you still there?”
“I just thought you should know. Bye.”
“Wait!”
He didn’t say anything but I could hear him breathing.
“When?”
“This morning.”
“Are you okay?”
Nothing.
“Are you coming home?”
“She always liked you Liz. Thought you’d like to know that.”
Then he hung up.
I called him back, but he didn’t answer.
“Will, it’s me.” I figured I should sound like I was crying. What’s devastation sound like? “Call me back, okay. I’m here for you.” Sniff sniff. “Love ya.”
“Sweetie.” Thomas was standing outside of the dressing room. “Is everything okay?”
I pulled on the leather skirt and swung open the door. “Whadda ya think? Does it work or does it work?”
Thomas looked at me like he didn’t know what to think. “Were you crying?”
I looked in the mirror and wiped some mascara from my cheek. Smiling I turned to him. “Just for effect.”
He wasn’t convinced. “It sounded real.”
I bowed. “You forget I used to be an actress.”
“Umm hmm. You forget your evil lies don’t work on me.”
“It was my ex-boyfriend.”
“Heath?”
I shook my head. “Will.”
“Will? Will,” he replied, “What’d that fine thing want?”
I started to pull on a charcoal cashmere sweater. “His mom died.”
Thomas rushed over and was now hugging me. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
“Meh, she had cancer, not like we didn’t know this day would come.”
He pulled back and shot me the “oh-no-you-didn’t” gay guy glare.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“And I thought I was insensitive.”
“Whatever,” I shot back mockingly. “What good are gay friends if they can’t pick out a decent outfit?”
“About as useful as straight girls with no hot guy friends.”
I rolled my eyes. “Witty. Now how about you use your magic gay powers of style and help me pick out a different sweater. This one makes my boobs look too big.”
Thomas left and I sat down. I felt bad for Will, honest. The thing is, getting wrapped up in his mom’s death just isn’t my style.
It was an opportunity.
